C. J. Bloom
1) His Package
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Normally, I was more of a cat person. As in, if I had to choose who lives, I'm going to take the cat nine times out of ten. It's not that I particularly like cats, I just don't particularly like most people.
My neighbor wasn't most people. He lived in the apartment across the hall, and he was your typical, buttoned-up, fancy shoes, smells like a Calvin Klein commercial, looks like he actually flosses kind of guy. I mean, seriously? Wasn't flossing...
2) His Treat
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Having a hot boss isn't complicated or confusing at all, said no one ever . . . But all I have to do is resist for a few months. Come January, I'm flying to Paris to chase my dream of being an artist. Too bad I can't have my treat and eat it, too. I forgot to mention . . . My hot boss was also my high school crush. Sort of. First, I wanted to crush him with gooey affection. In the end, I just plain wanted to crush him. Now he's back, and he might...
3) His Banana
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My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break . . . No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too . . . I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched...
4) Her Cherry
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How'd I meet her? Well, a gentleman never brags. Thankfully, I'm no gentleman. First, I paid for her cherry (pie, but that's not the point). Next, I deflowered her. After that? I left my business card and walked out like I owned the place. Yeah, you could say we hit it off.
Hailey: How did I meet William? He walked into my bakery, bought a cherry pie, stole a vase of flowers-I still have no idea what he wanted with them-and left his business card....
5) Her Secret
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I'll admit it. I messed up.
Mistake #1: Asking Peter Barnidge for a job. Mistake #2: Accepting his offer instead of throwing it in his face like I planned. Mistake #3: In the interest of stopping before #99, I'll pretend the only other mistake was withholding one, tiny little nugget of truth during my interview.
Peter Barnidge... I wish it was easier to just plain hate him, instead of the twisted, confusing blend of hatred and attraction I feel....
6) Her Bush
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Everything went wrong when I trimmed his bush.
And no, it's not what you're thinking. I'm a professional. The client hired me to trim a bush in his garden for a party. I accidentally turned it into something that rhymes with "a big rock and walls". Imagine my surprise when the art world decides it's a masterpiece.
Were my raging hormones the cause of my bush sculpting blunder? I mean, who would blame me if they were? After meeting Harry Barnidge...