Sue Vertue

Is it possible that life-time loser in love Oliver might just get somewhere with life-time loser in love Jane? Trouble is, how can you win the heart of a good woman, when your fl at is a little 'un-edited', and your living room has lost the battle with magazine nudity?

Since the dawn of time, men and women have been falling in love - and men have been trying to get straight home afterwards. Can fallen playboy Patrick Maitland ever find his way home from the Enchanted Glade of his one true love and get a decent night's kip? Kate Isitt as Sally makes her singing debut.

It's time to start attending antenatal classes. Susan need a back-up birth partner, Steve is haunted by the ghost of spanking lesbians past and Sally is seeking the solace of a string quartet. Meanwhile, Jane is trying to find a way to out-keen Oliver.

Steve seems incapable of making any decisions, and Susan is beginning to despair. When her new French client starts picking holes in her work over the phone, she tears her off a strip - in fluent French. Richard, a pleasant looking guy of the same age, grins oafishly at her - he really likes French women. "But I bet you've got a boyfriend", he says. Susan hesitates. "Oui" she replies. A guilty Steve finds himself exchanging phone numbers with an attractive...

Steve and Susan have been together for a year. And in the field of human relationships, what is the most frightening thing that can come through your door? A wedding invitation! At the breakfast table Susan is harassed and absorbed in her work. Tonight is the first anniversary of their first date, and there it is, the putting-thoughts-in-your-long- term-girlfriend's-head bomb, ticking away right in Steve's hand.

Sally is having a drink with a complete oaf called Brian. She spots Patrick with a bunch of business cronies and begs him to rescue her, which he does in true tripod style. Soon they are drinking to Code Red and wondering whether they should have got indelicate together. The next day, Sally decides they should do it - now, a one-time-only offer. He's got the builders in, her flatmate's at home with 'flu; but she has the key to Susan's flat and arranges...

Steve and his best friend, Jeff, head for the wine bar where Steve has decided he is going to dump his longstanding girlfriend once and for all. Meanwhile Susan and her best friend, Sally, are heading towards the same destination with equal determination. Is this the evening when 'he' is going to propose? But all is not as it seems.

Jeff is about to have a job interview — and he's pretty nervous. Jane appears on Steve's doorstep and is clearly very, very upset. Her aunt has just died and she wants Steve to go to the funeral with her. Meanwhile, Susan is busy inviting Patrick to the funeral while he is inviting Sally, who has a pathological fear of growing old, to be his decoy date. Before long, all six of them are heading up a suburban street dressed in funereal black...

Jane finds herself competing with the Supreme Being of the Universe. She feels it isn't fair on either of them. Jeff has been going out with Julia for some time. But then the disconcertingly lovely Wilma propositions him in the stationery cupboard. Meanwhile Jane meets and quickly unnerves the ruggedly handsome James under similar circumstances.

Three eggs, three women, three possibilities. Now Sally's blurted out how she feels to Patrick and has convinced herself it's not meant to be. More importantly, she really, really doesn't want to produce a bald, noisy thing that will destroy her life - and decides to use Jane and Susan as a pregnancy control test, which leads to some unexpected revelations.