101 things I wish I knew when I got married : simple lessons to make love last
(Book)

Great relationships don't just happen; they are created

Vulnerability is disarming

If your job gets your best energy, your marriage will wither

One of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is your own happiness

There's a difference between judging and being judgmental

It's possible to hate and love someone at the same time

When you complain about your partner to your friends, remember that their feedback is based upon distorted information

The only rules in a marriage are those to which you both choose to agree

Commitment isn't a prison; it's a means to greater freedom

It isn't conflict that destroys marriages; it's the cold, smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding

If you choose monogamy, keep your agreement

It's not what you've got; it's what you do with it

Even good marriages have recurring seasons, and there can be some hard winters

Your primary relationship is with your partner, not your children

If you think you're too good for your partner, think again

Growing up in a happy family doesn't ensure a good marriage, and growing up in an unhappy family doesn't preclude having one

It's never too late to repair damaged trust

Secrets are lies

Sex can improve with age

If you're keeping pace with the people around you, you're probably moving too fast

If you can't be happy without your partner, you won't be happy together

Marriage is like yoga

The prince isn't going to come

Getting help when you are unable to work things out isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of intelligence

One person, no matter how much they love you, cannot meet all of your emotional needs

Love isn't always enough to sustain a marriage

True intimacy can exist only between equals

The real issue is usually not the one you're arguing about

Love isn't just a feeling; it's an action that shows our caring

Expectations set us up for resentment

Arguments can't be avoided, but destructive ones can

One of the greatest gifts we can give our partner is our focused attention

Even people with great marriages sometimes wonder whether they might have married the wrong person

Your partner cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you to rescue yourself

The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it

Even the best marriages have irreconcilable differences

Your opinion is not the truth

Vacations are necessities, not luxuries

Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy

Ultimatums and threats do more harm than good

Guilt-tripping won't get you what you really want

Give what you want to receive

Don't neglect your friends just because you've acquired a spouse

If you think, "You're not the person I married," you're probably right

Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points

What you judge in your partner is a reflection of what you judge in yourself

Your partner is your teacher and your student

Commitment is not a one-time event; it's an ongoing process

Generosity of spirit is the foundation of great relationships

If your partner is being defensive, you may be giving them reason to be

Marriage isn't 50/50; it's 100/100

Trust can be rebuilt, even after a painful betrayal, but it may require hard work

You can pay now or you can pay later, but the later you pay, the more penalties and interest you accrue

The cheap thrill you get from putting down your partner isn't so cheap

Marriage does require sacrifice, but what you stand to gain is infinitely greater than what you give up

Good sex doesn't necessarily make a marriage great, but it sure helps

Forgiveness isn't a one-time event; it's a process

Even the tiniest spark can reignite the fire of love

If you find out what your partner wants and help them get it, you'll both be happier

Marriage alone does not make you a better person, but accepting its challenges does

Creating a great marriage generally takes more time and effort than it seems it should

Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight

Being attracted to someone else doesn't diminish the quality of your marriage; acting on that attraction does

A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than what you experienced in the past

In order for it to thrive, love requires separateness as well as togetherness

We all have a terminal diagnosis

Don't keep feelings of gratitude to yourself

Knowing where your lines are and being willing to draw them serves your partner as well as yourself

You don't have to be able to love well to get married; the training occurs on the job

Privacy won't hurt your marriage, but secrecy will

Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love

Facing your fears builds strength; avoiding them diminishes it

Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming

Don't say anything about your partner that you're not willing to say to them

Your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength

Of all of the benefits of marriage, the greatest is the possibility of using this relationship to become a more loving person

If your partner thinks something is important, it is!

Marriages never outgrow the need for romance

The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary

There is violence in silence when it's used as a weapon

There's a difference between sex and intimacy

It's better to focus on what you can do to make things right than on what your partner did to make things wrong

The fire of infatuation has to cool before mature love can develop

Nothing deadens sexual desire faster than unresolved differences

The biggest risk is in not risking

If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce

Forgiveness is its own reward

Revenge is its own punishment

When two hearts are connected, the biggest problems become workable; when they are not, the smallest difficulties seem insurmountable

Constructive criticism generally isn't

The capacity to feel joy grows in proportion to the capacity to experience pain

There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening

External conflicts are often outer expressions of internal ones

One of the greatest questions you can ask your partner is, "How may I best love you?"

There's more to be gained by understanding your partner's world than trying to get them to understand yours

A loving marriage can heal old emotional wounds more effectively than the best therapy

Just keep talkin'

Assumptions are fine, as long as you check them out before acting on them

Marriages can stay fresh over time

Intention may not be the only thing, but it's the most important thing

The amount of joy and fulfillment available in a loving partnership is considerably more than you can imagine

Contact Us.