Mark Twain's helpful hints for good living : a handbook for the damned human race
(Book)

1. Everyday etiquette. A letter of apology ; About the effect of intemperate language ; Be good, be good

a poem ; An innovative dinner party signal system ; About American manners ; Breaking it gently ; Courtesy to unexpected visitors ; At the funeral ; A telephonic conversation

2. Modest proposals and judicious complaints. A Christmas wish ; Proposal regarding local flooding ; Complaint about unreliable service ; Notice about a stolen umbrella ; An appeal against injudicious swearing ; An unwanted magazine subscription ; On telephones and swearing ; About the proposed street-widening ; Political economy ; Notice: To the next burglar ; Suggestion to persons entering Heaven

3. The American table. Memories of food on an American farm ; American versus European food ; An inauspicious meal ; A remarkable dinner ; Food and scenery

4. Travel manners. Traveling in close quarters ; Communicating with the locals ; A night excursion in a hotel room

5. Health and diet. Young Sam Clemens and old-time doctoring ; The "wake-up-Jake" ; A healthful cocktail ; A miracle cure ; Experience of the McWilliamses with membranous croup ; Smoking, diet, and health at age seventy

6. Parenting and the ethical child. The late Benjamin Franklin ; On theft and conscience ; On training children ; A sampling of childish ethics ; Youthful misdemeanors ; Advice to youth

7. Clothes, fashion, and style. A fashion item ; The hand of fashion ; That white suit ; Clothes and deception ; A sumptuous robe

8. In case of emergency. Playing "bear" ; An apparition ; The great earthquake in San Francisco ; Escape of the tarantulas ; Burglary and the well-tempered householder ; Under a policeman's eye.