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I was on the bottom rung of the music business.Then my new friend Dewey invited me to play a basket-house night with him in the middle of nowhere.Now I'm convincing him of my musical worth like my life depends on it because, for all I know, it does.This is a short-story in the Artists Of Leaves End universe.(Also available in an earlier form in Street Apples Magazine #1)
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A gay man and a black woman meet in the woods outside Leadville, Colorado. Well, they don't really meet. They run into each other when the gay man (Quincy) is running from the cult of Tree Tree McForest Face and the black woman (Maya) is running away from two QAnon conspiracy theorists who have just dissected their friend in an attempt to find evidence of a deep state plot to weaponize gayness to reverse global warming. A pursuit through the Colorado...
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The six women of the Knitting Circle meet every week to chat, eat cake, and make fabulous sweaters. Until the night they realize that they've all survived rape-and that not one of their assailants has suffered a single consequence. Enough is enough. The Knitting Circle becomes the Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad. They declare open season on rapists, with no licenses and no bag limits. With needles as their weapons, the revolution begins.
A...
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When investigative reporter Kerry McDonough finds double-dealing Senator Ralph van Patten dead in her bed, she can't call the police. Any investigation would paint her as suspect Number 1, putting her in an unwanted spotlight. Plus if it gets out that she slept with an interview subject, her career would be blown out of the water. And she couldn't live with herself if people knew she was with a slimy Republican!Instead, Kerry calls her jack-of-all-trades...
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Chris Benson looks up to his older brother. In fact, everyone looks up to Chris's older brother. Most have no choice when they're lying on their stomachs in the middle of Barclays bank. But when Gavin Benson gets sent down for 15 years, the somewhat unprofessional trio of Chris, Sid and Vince are left without a ringleader. As if Chris hasn't got enough problems, his adulterous partner Debbie is spending money faster than he can steal it, his sexually...
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"Hope", one must have it, for, without hope, what else is there? "Cockroachalisms, Life Lessons Learned On My Journey Through Life", allow the guru of wellness that is Xavier Cockroachal Damon to lead you down the path of happiness with life lessons only he could teach. "Motel Hell", the place where lost souls dwell. "Climb from Hell", Supustrus is trying to rescue himself and his wife by escaping hell. Will they make it? "Gus Versus the Evil Gods",...
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Tom was living a normal life. He had a girlfriend that would soon move in with him, a group of loyal friends that played boardgames with him, and a good job that he didn't hate and paid well. Nothing lasts forever, though, especially good things. One day, he died changing a light bulb. And then, he got up again.What will he do, being the world's first zombie? How will he keep himself hidden? And how will he manage the fact that he can see dead people?...
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A humorous retelling for a different generation.Who is Phil Osafa?What do The Dissentry of Magic do?How do you persuade your (drinking, gambling, thieving) weenix to behave like a respectable owl?What is ditchwitch? And why can't girls play?How do you tame the tiny, ugly, vicious - yet strangely desirable - guardian on the third floor?The answers are waiting inside this clever little file of fluid locations...Barry's uncles, Vermont and Patrice, are...
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Two old scallywags break a silly law to "prove" the extinct Tasmanian Tiger lives on.But that's just for starters in this six-novel bundle based on the island of Tasmania at the bottom of Australia.The two octogenarians don't just want to alter the course of ecological history. They also want to make sure the former mayor gets what he deserves.They take a detour to Ireland, where one of them inherits a castle and descends into a whole lot of trouble,...
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Seven Plays. "Off With the Head", an absurdist styled comedy about what is, quite likely, the absolute worst king in history. In "Dung", a full length play, Roger and Pith are supposed to go out but they can't because someone is outside the door. Eventually, the someone leaves and Pith says now they should go out. Roger says if they do, and make just one wrong step it will land them in a someplace worse. They do go out. Do they make that one wrong...
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Three comedy novels about the world's worst life coach. Cuthbert Huntsman is a bankrupt barfly with eight broken marriages who thinks he's wiser than Jordan Peterson and Deepak Chopra combined, but clearly isn't. How Not To Live Your Life chronicles Cuthbert's search for the rules of failure. Cop Lives Probably Matter sees Cuthbert embroiled in a ludicrous crime caper crammed with heists, hitmen, and murder. Trigger Warning puts the life of a disgraced...
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Twas the week before Christmas, New York City, '86.A killer is lurking, slashing hookers and tricks... Special's a working girl trying to scratch out a living on 42nd Street, the sleaziest strip in America. No pimp, no problem-she can handle herself. But when her friend gets butchered and an eyewitness dishes the details, Special begs her city official clients to track down the killer. That's when they try to kill her.Now Special's on the run from...
15) Splitsville
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Jem and Nai may be twins, but as two halves of a split soul, they are as different as night and day. After losing their lives in a boating accident, the teens are recruited by Order to replace the recently departed Guardian of Blackbird. Their job? To protect and save the souls of the lost before they fall to the Discordant. A simple task under ordinary circumstances, but the town of Blackbird is far from ordinary.It would be bad enough if their arrival...
16) The Dog
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A man, Leroy Barnes, who just wants to live in a small town and do his job is harrassed by a dog and its owner. Leroy takes the entire matter into his own hands. A satiric and mutely dark short story.
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The odious Jeanette Sobriquet is dead and her granddaughter, Fizzy, is too relieved to grieve. Unfortunately for her, when Fizzy announces her refusal to attend the abusive woman's funeral, her life becomes a living nightmare. Now, she has demons, ghosts, and the threat of homelessness hunting her down, all demanding she caves into the dead woman's iron will. Bar owner, Affidious Dixon, is forced to carry out Fizzy's dead grandmother's last requests;...
18) Dawn
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Dawn is the story of the man as he crawls through his, quote, life, close quote, through what he sees as an ever ugly world, encountering characters along the way, all of whom he very much wishes he had never encountered at all...except for one. The book begins with the man awaking on a beach, unsure of where he is. The man eventually finds his way back home, only to find he in no way knows the people inside and recognizes none of the belongings within...
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When the introduction of brothels manned by AI-powered sex robots threaten the profitability of the world's oldest profession, the street girls decide it's time to fight for their future and bring the punters back where they belong: between their legs. Hatching a drastic plan to ensure the Johns turn against erotic automatons, the whores take on the brave new world and inadvertently unleash a battle for survival as technology's finest refuse to take...
20) Clon
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A man makes a genetic copy of himself, a clone. What he learns and finds out about his duplicate --- which is himself --- is not pretty.
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