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On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.'In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into...
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I was on the bottom rung of the music business.Then my new friend Dewey invited me to play a basket-house night with him in the middle of nowhere.Now I'm convincing him of my musical worth like my life depends on it because, for all I know, it does.This is a short-story in the Artists Of Leaves End universe.(Also available in an earlier form in Street Apples Magazine #1)
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The painter of the universe, known as Life, just wanted to fulfill her reason for being, by creating a universe full of beautiful wonders and living things, but her twin brother, Death, exists solely to destroy her work, leading to an intractable argument about whose work should prevail.Eventually, Life partially wins the argument and allowed to make a universe without seeing it immediately destroyed, but she doesn't know well enough to leave things...
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A gay man and a black woman meet in the woods outside Leadville, Colorado. Well, they don't really meet. They run into each other when the gay man (Quincy) is running from the cult of Tree Tree McForest Face and the black woman (Maya) is running away from two QAnon conspiracy theorists who have just dissected their friend in an attempt to find evidence of a deep state plot to weaponize gayness to reverse global warming. A pursuit through the Colorado...
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When investigative reporter Kerry McDonough finds double-dealing Senator Ralph van Patten dead in her bed, she can't call the police. Any investigation would paint her as suspect Number 1, putting her in an unwanted spotlight. Plus if it gets out that she slept with an interview subject, her career would be blown out of the water. And she couldn't live with herself if people knew she was with a slimy Republican!Instead, Kerry calls her jack-of-all-trades...
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Tom was living a normal life. He had a girlfriend that would soon move in with him, a group of loyal friends that played boardgames with him, and a good job that he didn't hate and paid well. Nothing lasts forever, though, especially good things. One day, he died changing a light bulb. And then, he got up again.What will he do, being the world's first zombie? How will he keep himself hidden? And how will he manage the fact that he can see dead people?...
11) Platypus
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A short novel. The book follows the story of Cyrus, a man that finds himself in quite the peculiar predicament. For reasons, and by methods he cannot comprehend, he is repeatedly transported to a disturbing, bizarre location where he is subjected to unspeakable horrors, and where he encounters characters that defy all reason, and where nothing that happens ever makes any sense, at all. Is it all just a bad dream? He sets about uncovering the secrets...
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Chris Benson looks up to his older brother. In fact, everyone looks up to Chris's older brother. Most have no choice when they're lying on their stomachs in the middle of Barclays bank. But when Gavin Benson gets sent down for 15 years, the somewhat unprofessional trio of Chris, Sid and Vince are left without a ringleader. As if Chris hasn't got enough problems, his adulterous partner Debbie is spending money faster than he can steal it, his sexually...
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The six women of the Knitting Circle meet every week to chat, eat cake, and make fabulous sweaters. Until the night they realize that they've all survived rape-and that not one of their assailants has suffered a single consequence. Enough is enough. The Knitting Circle becomes the Knitting Circle Rapist Annihilation Squad. They declare open season on rapists, with no licenses and no bag limits. With needles as their weapons, the revolution begins.
A...
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"Hope", one must have it, for, without hope, what else is there? "Cockroachalisms, Life Lessons Learned On My Journey Through Life", allow the guru of wellness that is Xavier Cockroachal Damon to lead you down the path of happiness with life lessons only he could teach. "Motel Hell", the place where lost souls dwell. "Climb from Hell", Supustrus is trying to rescue himself and his wife by escaping hell. Will they make it? "Gus Versus the Evil Gods",...
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Seven Plays. "Off With the Head", an absurdist styled comedy about what is, quite likely, the absolute worst king in history. In "Dung", a full length play, Roger and Pith are supposed to go out but they can't because someone is outside the door. Eventually, the someone leaves and Pith says now they should go out. Roger says if they do, and make just one wrong step it will land them in a someplace worse. They do go out. Do they make that one wrong...
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Two old scallywags break a silly law to "prove" the extinct Tasmanian Tiger lives on.But that's just for starters in this six-novel bundle based on the island of Tasmania at the bottom of Australia.The two octogenarians don't just want to alter the course of ecological history. They also want to make sure the former mayor gets what he deserves.They take a detour to Ireland, where one of them inherits a castle and descends into a whole lot of trouble,...
17) Dawn
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Dawn is the story of the man as he crawls through his, quote, life, close quote, through what he sees as an ever ugly world, encountering characters along the way, all of whom he very much wishes he had never encountered at all...except for one. The book begins with the man awaking on a beach, unsure of where he is. The man eventually finds his way back home, only to find he in no way knows the people inside and recognizes none of the belongings within...
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When the introduction of brothels manned by AI-powered sex robots threaten the profitability of the world's oldest profession, the street girls decide it's time to fight for their future and bring the punters back where they belong: between their legs. Hatching a drastic plan to ensure the Johns turn against erotic automatons, the whores take on the brave new world and inadvertently unleash a battle for survival as technology's finest refuse to take...
19) The Dog
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A man, Leroy Barnes, who just wants to live in a small town and do his job is harrassed by a dog and its owner. Leroy takes the entire matter into his own hands. A satiric and mutely dark short story.
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