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Even after her death, Erma Bombeck remains one of America's best-loved writers of all time. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream is based on one of her most requested columns.
In 1979, someone asked humorist Erma Bombeck, "If you had your life to live over, would you change anything?" Her immediate answer was no, but once she thought about it, she changed her mind. The result was a classic column full of Bombeck's signature wit and warmth.
Now the...
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Anguished English is the impossibly funny anthology of accidental assaults upon our common language. From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed-Up Metaphors ... from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers ... it's a collection that will leave you roaring with delight and laughter.
Help wanted:
Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
Two-Headed Headlines: Grandmother of eight makes hole in one! Doctor...
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OUTHOUSE READER
THE OUTHOUSE READER IS THE PERFECT COMPANION for everyone who makes a pit stop at the little wood shack out back! Just don't get caught with your pants down!
FROM SOULFUL LIFE WISDOM:
"Oh, what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to believe."
"Most things get better. In fact, most things get better by the next morning."
"A true friend, if he can't get you out of jail, will get in there with you."
TO DROP-AND-RUN HUMOR: "It's...
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Español
Description
Un dron dirigido y enviado de un reino a otro eliminó por error a varias gacelas que deambulaban por un claro de la selva.El gobernante que ordenó lanzarlo se sentía orgulloso de la efectividad en su estrategia para acabar con supuestas hienas terroristas.Se trataba de aviones no tripulados, los cuales eran manipulados por papagayos militares.El mandatario fue criticado por el alto número de víctimas civiles que había causado aquella grave equivocación.Un...
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Español
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Un papagayo fue designado por sus compañeros para que denunciara la destrucción de la selva.Su capacidad para hablar con los humanos lo hacían el indicado, ya que manejaba bien su lenguaje.Llevó evidencias ante un organismo internacional encargado de vigilar y proteger el planeta, para que tomaran cartas en el asunto, ya que había intereses oscuros que impedían que se detuviera la destrucción masiva de árboles, desplazando a las especies a...
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This essential phrasebook collects the most colorful, explicit, and outrageous ways to tell people off in every part of the world. Featuring dozens of different languages, the sayings range from everyday swears to family curses to expressions for X-rated relations with animals. Phonetic pronunciation is provided so that readers can curse like a native, and handy illustrations provide visual guides to these foreign exclamations. Perfect for the international...
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This indispensable reference guide offers hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations-from missed birthdays to unpaid parking tickets and more!
Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's definitely easier with hundreds of excuses for things you did, didn't do, or simply never want to hear about again. The Little Book of Big Excuses is your guide to saving face, avoiding blame, and getting out of almost any unpleasant situation. In "Fake,...
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An A-to-Z treasury of dumb, disastrous, and hard-to-believe human behavior from the New York Times-bestselling author of “Stupid History!”
* A doctor's actual diagnostic notation: The patient is married but sexually active.
* "Shooting Reported at Firing Range"-The State, Columbia, South Carolina, August 4, 2006
* Arrested for public urination in Bowling Green, Ohio: Mr. Joshua Pees.-The Sentinel-Tribune, Bowling Green, Ohio, September 5, 2001
From...
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When twins, Grant and Aiden, are separated at birth for their protection and then reunited at the age of 18, they discover more about their past than they could have ever imagined.
They have a journey laid out before them that is not only full of danger at every turn, but of self-control, and saving mankind. Along the way, they learn what they are capable of, who they are, and what their destiny holds.
Engage with them in this fantastic...
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Finally, life advice from our favorite feline friends who always seem to land on their feet. Stink Outside the Box features sweet, funny photos of kitty experts along with hilarious and thoughtful tidbits of timeless advice for both cats and humans alike. To move on with our nine lives, we must forgive our siblings for what they did to us as kittens, learn not to get haired out when we see how much fur we've gained in the winter, and accept that while...
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In Movie Title Typos, artist Austin Light removes just one letter from a well-known movie title to inspire a surprising and hilarious visual scenario. There's Obocop (a robotic police officer works through his PTSD by playing smooth jazz), T. (a boy meets a jewelry-clad alien who pities fools), Harry Otter, The Princess and the Fro, Finding Emo, Pup Fiction, and many more. A massive viral hit when he first posted sketches of the work online (1.2 million...
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More than 150 new fun facts to delight, befuddle and amaze, from the bestselling author of Why Do Roller Coasters Make You Puke?
This bizarre and baffling trivia collection with delight and intrigue readers, with answers to age-old questions like who was Dr. Pepper and what causes new-car smell? Written by the bestselling author of Can Holding in a Fart Kill You?, this new collection has 150 more curious questions and astounding answers.
Perfect...
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A fun and fascinating trivia book with a wide range of intriguing questions and entertainingly written answers from a bestselling author.
Perfect for trivia junkies everywhere, this new collection will surprise readers with fascinating answers to age-old curiosities, such as:
• Does a goldfish's memory really only last a few seconds?
• Do plants feel pain?
• Why do cats' eyes glow in the dark?
• Why do people seem more attractive...
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English
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The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable...
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Español
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En este cuento de hadas para niños con ilustraciones, usted aprenderá la historia de Jordania el ratón, que se convirtió en un piloto de un barco de pasajeros. Él fue a Hawaii y llevó a los pasajeros. Pero en el camino, problemas que sucedió y él tenía la urgencia de la tierra en un solar abandonado de la isla en el medio del océano. Y no era un criminal peligroso y un hombre enfermo a bordo.
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A humorous retelling for a different generation.Who is Phil Osafa?What do The Dissentry of Magic do?How do you persuade your (drinking, gambling, thieving) weenix to behave like a respectable owl?What is ditchwitch? And why can't girls play?How do you tame the tiny, ugly, vicious - yet strangely desirable - guardian on the third floor?The answers are waiting inside this clever little file of fluid locations...Barry's uncles, Vermont and Patrice, are...
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Life is more comfortable today than ever in history, thanks to a dizzying array of modern conveniences we never imagined we could live without. But if King Henry VIII, Mahatma Gandhi, or Alexander the Great had access to the modern conveniences we currently enjoy, from motivating nutrition apps to sweeping social media and life-saving antibiotics, history would've taken a dramatically different turn. In this entertaining exploration of history merged...
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Canadians are peaceable, friendly, unassuming, and adorable. They're also secretly in control of nearly every aspect of life in the Southernmost Canadian territory known as the United States. This hilarious illustrated compendium of real facts and wild assertions traces a vast, maple-leaf conspiracy that plays up Canada's self-effacing second fiddle image to the U.S. while it creates and clandestinely controls nearly everything Americans hold dear,...
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A wealthy man is shocked to discover that he's dead-and worse yet, he must find out who it was that killed him . . .
Adam Albury, a successful architect, finds himself at a funeral in his local church. Scanning the aisles and seeing his family and friends dressed somberly in black, he's shocked to learn the service is for him. Adam, now no more than a hovering spirit, is even more astonished to hear his death was ruled a suicide.
The ghostly...
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